jokes

Jailer: Faasi se pehle kisse miloge?
Santa: Biwi Se
Jailer: Maa-Baap se nahi
Santa: Maa-Baap to agla jnm lete hi mil jyenge
biwi ke liye sala phir 25 saal wait karna padega!! :d








Ek ladki class me gana ga rahi thi
“O zara-zara touch me, touch me, touch me…”
Tabhi ek ladka utha aur ladki ko chhu liya aur
bola himmat hai to aage Gaa..











Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko
ek plane mein bithaya gaya..
Fir announce kiya gaya ki
“YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI”
Sab profesrs utar gaye…
Par principal baithe rahe
Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta?
Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa hai.
Ye start hi nahi hoga!!






Husband: can u be the moon of my life?
Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
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Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!





Santa court mein judge se:
Aaj tak meri itni insult nahi hui,
meri nai padson ne mujhe nahate hue dekh lia he!
Judge: to tum kya chahte ho?
Santa: Badla.





An EGYPTIAN girl asked an INDIAN boy:
What can u do for me?
The boy replied:
come behind the PYRAMID.
I will make u MUMMY.











1 Ladke ne ek ladki ko call ki
Boy: I LOVE U Jaan.
Girl: Sacchi
Boy: Mucchi
Girl: Ek 100 ka recharge karwa do plz
Boy: Sorry Didi Rong No.







Boy: Suno jara.
Girl: Chup raho, Khate time baat nahi karte,
khaane k baad
Ladki: Ab bolo
Boy: Teri plate mein cockroch tha, le aur ban Heroine!






Teacher: 1 Din aisa ayega jab prithvi pe pani nahi rahega,
Sab jeev nasht hojaynge
prithvi tabaah hojaygi.
Santa: madamji, us din tution ana hai kya?




Ek aurat saheli se: Mujhe bachcha nahi ho raha!
Saheli: Tumhara pati namard hoga..?
Aurat: Mera Pati kya,
mujhe to tumhara pati bhi namard hi lagta hai.







Teacher: 1 Din aisa ayega jab prithvi pe pani nahi rahega,
Sab jeev nasht hojaynge
prithvi tabaah hojaygi.
Santa: madamji, us din tution ana hai kya?







1 marij ankh operation ke bad fees bachane ke liye bola:
Kuch nahi dikh raha..
Dr. ne nurse ke kapde utar die
Dr.: Ab dikha?
Marij: No
Dr.: Mad*rchod fir L*nd kaise khada hua.







Teacher: Wo kaunsi raat hai jo agar na hoti to aaj hindustan khush haal hota.?
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Student: Sir sharad pawar ki maa ki suhagraat.








Im not feeling well..
Husband: Ohhoo I was thinking to go for a dinner!!
Wife: I was joking dear..
Husband: Me too,
Chal uth rotti bana shabas.









Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai?
Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai
Teacher: Kya matlab?
Golu: Ji wo
CUSTOMER CARE EXCUTIVE hai.








Boy: Aap ka naam kya hai?
Girl: Pehan ke bataun ya bol ke?
Boy: Kya matlab?
Girl: PAYAL aur aapka?
Boy: Haath mein dun ya muh mein?
Girl: Matlab?
Boy: Prasad.












1 Engineer, 1 BBA Student aur 1 Sindhi ship mein ja rahe the..
1 Jinn aaya aur bola:
Samundar me koi cheez pheko,
agar maine dhoond li to main tumhe maar dunga,
Aur na dhoond paya to main tumhara Gulam!
Engineer ne needle phenki.
Jinn ne dhoond li or use maar diya..
BBA Student ne memory card phenka.
Jinn ne dhoond liya or use bhi maar diya..
Sindhi ne disprin phenki,
woh pani mein ghul gayi.
Sindhi bola: Chal Beta, Ghar Chal Bahut Kaam Pada Hai!
JINN Shocked &
Sindhi ROCKED.




 

GF: Purrr (Embarrasing)
BF: Its OK Baby Its Happens.
GF: Purrr Purrr (Relaxing)
BF: Oww Its Natural dnt worry.
GF: Purrr Purrr Pukkk.
BF: Sweety I should b Going Now.
GF: Purrr Phokkkk Dhusssr.
Pharrrr
Pookkkk
BF: Saali Padori pure saal bhar ka aaj hi paadegi kyaa.







Obama: Tujhe swiming aati hai.
Lalu: Na
Obama: Tere se to kutta acha hai jo swim kar leta hai.
Lalu: Tumko aata hai
Obama: Yes
Lalu: Sasura fir tohre mein aur Kutta mein farak ka hai









Pati ke marne ke bad patni ne akhbaar mein add diya..
Antim sanskar mein jo bhi aaye uske liye dhanyavad.
from:
Kajal,
Age 26
Gora rang,
36 24 36,
Bachche nahi hai








Munna: Kya kar rela hai circuit?
Circuit: Bhai bulb pe baap ka naam likh rela hu
Munna: Kyun!
Circuit: Bhai, baap ka naam roshan karne ka he na.